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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Josh's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, March 13th, 2004
12:52 am
kinda bored
oh man i just had the best night of my life... i jsut won at least $20 playing hold em with jeff, apathy, and jeffs dad... man what a night. i cant wait to play next, but i'll probably lose. oh well its cool... i'm used to losing... so yeah tyhings are going... i defiantly lost he tickets to the hilary duff concert hat im taking katie too but hey its cool they have to be in my room somewhere... i'll find em don't worry... alright gonna go... peace out

Current Mood: ecstatic
Monday, March 8th, 2004
10:13 pm
yeah i got nothing
so i really dont know what to say.... so many of my emotions and feelings are so mixed right now its not even funny. i cant really say anything cuz i really dont know what to say, how to say it, or if i should even tell anyone. life is jsut to hard right now. gnsfngsgsgj'sg'sdajg'sg'dsj... i just need to take one day at a time... sorry not a very good jouranl but i really dont know anything right now.

Current Mood: contemplative
Monday, February 2nd, 2004
10:12 pm
so relaxed
alright its been a long time and there hasnt been a lot going on really. school i think ended well but we'll see when report cards come cuz they havent yet. and me and katie are doing awesome. we were jsut talking and i realy made her smile. im so happy. alright so anyway me and bill were in homeroom the one day and they played josh groban over the P.A. and bill and me recognized it. i didnt know anybody else knew about this guy but of course we knew him trhoiugh our mothers but we both stole the cd of him and i lsiten to it constantly now. its so relxing... now if i only knew italian... haha... anyway thats my life... oh and i officaily hate gerycz and bball... well maybe not bball but i am officailly done putting my ass on the line in practice for f****** nothing in the games... so screw the rest of this year... im not gonna quit cuz i jsut won't do it. i'll finish off the year and im done. alright time to listewn to some more josh groban... peace out

Current Mood: relaxed
Sunday, December 7th, 2003
2:41 pm
alright so its been awhile
wow its been so long. nayway on to better things. i really dont know where i eft off last but i guess ill go back to hc. that was like the best night of my life... and now come to think of it i thik that may have beeen the last thing i put in here. anyway onto something else. kairos is in like 4 days and im so excied but there is so much to do. oh well i cant wait for it. and on to an even better thing. i am foinally with the one girl that i have liked and wanted sine like leterally the first day of freshman year. and it is the same way with her. and its really wierd cuz we didn't know about each other liking each other but it has finally happened and we are so happy together even though it has only been a week. but its cool and i love it. i love how this realtionship is going and i know for a fact this one is gonna last a long time. we have sat dwon and talked about everything that we have doner in our lies for literally like 10 hours. it was freaking awesome. i knew a lot about her but i like her that much more now that i know like everything. I LOVE HER!! oh and of scourse it proabably would not have come along this quick without the help of dna and cassandra so thank you both and i love you guys too. cassndra i hope you knew that by now and dana well i guess i can actually take that back cuz thats kinda wierd. haha.. anywya gota go set upfor mass soon. later.

oh and the music is like completely differnet than my mood but i still like the cd.

Current Mood: ecstatic
Sunday, October 19th, 2003
6:06 pm
Girl's ar just too confusing!!
Girls are just too confusing... i hate many things that are going on right now... i can't even say how i feel... i can't even think baout how i can put it into words... why does it have to be so hard... thank GOD for my retreat on tuesday... i have a lot of thinkin to do while i'm there.

Current Mood: confused
5:25 pm
it's all over
well homecoming if over and it was the best time i had ever had. Cassandra was like "The Perfect Date." she was just the best person to go and have a ton of fun with. I love that girl... but there are defiantly some things that i am not sure about... no matter how i look at somethings i still can't figure anything out.

i dont have a lot to say suz im just so damn tired...damn you dana keepin us up till 5:00...it's ok i guess though cuz we all had a ton of fun anyway. i just feltso alone...eeryone had someone to cuddle with and i was all alone... i got so jealous of one person in particular and i can't figure out why... i wish kristin would have been ther but thats the way life goes..oh well. alright i need to sleep...later

Current Mood: exhausted
Saturday, October 18th, 2003
2:59 pm
i cant believe it...hc is finally here and its gonna be awesome. im going with one of the greatest girls i have ever known, and me and kristin are almost together, i hope to make it officail soon but i think after hc we'll figure that out. i can't wait for tonight. i have been cleaning all day, especailly my car which i cleaned for like 4 hours and it still looks bad but thats ok... it wont be perfect but at least its cleaner. its gonna be so awesome... andthats all i can say..KRISTIN I LOVE YA. alright i'll cya all tonight

Current Mood: excited
Tuesday, October 14th, 2003
4:53 pm
alright pathetic title but i put one i so to bad.

so heres whats up. me and kristen are talkin a lot and im lovein it. we have the most awesome converstaions and i think this is gonna be a great relationship. we have so much fun together and things are just going great.

so our hall looks sweet right.. well someone decided he was gonna be cool and tear down the wheel at he begininning of our section. well i hope hes knows hes not cool.. its not real funny that you tear down someone elses hard work.. i hope him and pat have a nice little meeting...that would be awesome.

nextis cassnadra... things ar sweet... we had a good talk and things are back to normal...like after school i saw so i was like yes sweet i'll give her a hug and we are gonna be so tight... well with cassandra i figured this hug was gonna be kinda pathetic...i mean i dont think i've ever really goten a "i really care" hug if you know what i mean.. but this time like it was awesome...like i think its the best hug i have ever gotten from someone.. like its hard to explain...but this may be the best hc/dance ever...cassandra is just awesome.

ok next school sux... i am doin bad but i think i am defiantly getting back on track..

and i havent talked to rachael in a long time but its weird... like we dont have anything to talk about.. i mean even when we were talking before, we could just like make up stuff and talk forever about thigns and it would be awesome... but i dont know its weird... i think she has really changed on me...rachael i miss ya...

alright later homeslices

Current Mood: sleepy
Saturday, October 11th, 2003
11:38 pm
its been awhile
alright so its been like a month or so since i've written and i think that this is as good a time as ever to write someithing.

so first things first...hall decorations is looking good but i fear everybody elses stuff...like im sure they are doin fine but i dont eer see anything and it is like wow its gonna be so bad...i feel all this stress and im not even a senior rep or anything...its wierd...so yeah tomorrow will be the big day.

alright next thing school sux...i hate english but lucky that damn essay is over so i dont have to worry about it... the only class i liek right now is government.

next is girls... you say one thing to a girl and everything gets screwed up...no anyway like i think me and kristen are gonna start dating or something so that is gonna be awwesome cuz she is like the best...best..just the best... like we hung out fri and it was ust awesome...even though i got her in trouble for being 3 minutes late but 3 minutes...im sory but thats a little too strict..anyway shes not mad so thats cool...but i think im really gonna like our relationship..wherever it leads too.

alright next is homecoming... i acnt wait for it to come..its gonna be the best time in the world...i have such an awesome homecoming date but there is trouble in paradise... she thinks i like dont wanna go with her..and i really really do..like we are going to have the most awesomest time and im gonna love every second of it... like i said a couple things(or so people say) that i dont remember and its trned everyhting upside down.. i just ant wait to talk to her cuz i want to tell her everything i have ever known or thought about her and let her know just how much i care about her and how much i love her...she is such an awesome gir land i love her and im so happy to be able to go to homecoming with her... i just cant wait to let her know about everything i have to say...CASSANDRA, I LOVE YOU!!...just wanted to let you know that...
alright everyone peace out

Current Mood: tired
Friday, August 8th, 2003
3:09 pm
Joshua is the #38 most common male name.
0.435% of men in the US are named Joshua.
Around 532875 US men are named Joshua!
Thursday, July 17th, 2003
11:52 pm
i cant believe i almost forgot
i cant believe i almost forgot... me and missy 2 months as of today at 11:45 tonight and we wont even be toether for it. shes in florida im in texas ... oh well when we get back home well do something.

Current Mood: excited
Wednesday, July 16th, 2003
11:39 pm
i dont even know
i have like three things to say.

1. drinking is fucking gay so dont do it.

2. i miss my friends... i mean i still hang out with them and all but i dont spend everyday with them and things just arn't the same between some of us... i have missed out on a lot of big things within our little group.

3. i cant wait to get back to ohio to spend some quality time with my friends.

Current Mood: blah
Wednesday, June 4th, 2003
10:17 pm
too long
wow what a title... i have been away from my friends for too long. like yes me and missy have been spending most weekends together but between my baseball and her work we have no time to do anything anyway. i mean yes i want to spend all my time with her but i have some really awesome friends that im defiantly just not gonna leave. they are awesome and have always been there for me. even though i havent seen much of them on the weekends they are still cool and they still want to hang out with me. like sat i went over danas and watched a movie with pat, dana, janet, and ugly (andrew). so i guess we are gonna hve to convert missy into our group cuz then it will be easier for me to go with my friends and still be with the girl. and i havent written in this thing for awhile but if you notice i havent been online for a long time either so yeah thats my story for that. yeah so its a good thing that im so happy but i guess everything else isnt as happy as me. all that drama crap. I HATE IT... and im not even there for msot of it when it happens. wow that sux. i think its getting better but dont take my word for it. it will probably never be back to the same way it was but its defiantly better. alright gotta get goin. peace out girl scouts.

Current Mood: relaxed
Sunday, May 11th, 2003
4:17 pm
That title is pretty much how my week has been. Like this week was awesome. school is getting so much easier cuz its gettin later in the year and prom is in like 6 days or something like that. That is goin to be the most awesomest night ever. well the whole school pretty much knows about much i want Missy and prom is just going to reinforce that in my head even more. Now true she is going to be leaving in like 3 months or so for college but you know what, thats three months away and right now is well right now. i have three months to spend with her and thats what i want to do. and last night me and missy and dan went to see the play at padua (my second time seeing it) and of course i had a better time this time i saw it. me and missy held hands througthout act one so that was sweet. and in act two i put my arm around her and she leaned up against me and we held hands so it was obvisouly a better play the second time. adn then we went back to her house after tha play and i guess she tells her mom everything cuz she new the first time i walked into her house(a week ago) that i was the penguin guy...kairos thing. which was cool because i am well liked by both her mom and her dad and they were both really cool so i like em. but yeah so after the play dan decides he's gonna tell them everything that happened at the play so i sat there and had to here dan tell them about us holding hands and all that stuff. but it was cool cuz i dont know her parnets must really like me and want us to get together because they didn't care, they were sitting there laughing and trying to give me tips for the next time we go out. that was interesting but that is a very cool family. so yeah im HOPING this relationship is gonna go somewhere but we'll see what happens. and byt what happened last night i think we should be together very soon...prom maybe. theres so much more i could say about last night and her family and all that but i gotta get gone so hope to see you later.

Current Mood: ecstatic
Tuesday, May 6th, 2003
7:03 pm
alright i dont know what the title was about but i had to put one in. anway yeah i havent been keepin up to date but heres what ya missed.. im not gonna finish the kairos ones cuz i dont feel like it cuz they are to long... but you get the picture about the weekend. secondly guess whos goin to prom and .. well its kinda pointless to put that in there cuz like the whole fickin school knows but i did anyway... and its me. i am so excited beyond belief. i wont say anything else about that yet cuz i dont know where this is going but i cant wait. and yeah thsats it for now. later

a couple girls come to mind when i hear this song.

Current Mood: excited
Monday, April 7th, 2003
9:41 pm
alright day two of kairos
alright today itself was sweet, like i thought i never saw anyone from kairos in the halls before but i realized i see each and everyone one of them so often. its so crazy. it was the best feeling. except for when i saw jacqui bertain crying (and i dont know how to spell either part of her name). it was like wow i feel so sorry but there was nothing i could do till the end of the day. so iasked her after school let out and well i dont think i should tell anyone anything cuz i dont know if she wants me too, but i will say it was not a good thing to find out what had ahppened to her. anyway yeah and then steph jaworski asked me if i liked dancing and i was like yeah. it was really wierd cuz i dont know what she was trying to say, but im quite anxious to find out. i think i know but im not gonna say anything till i know for sure. anyway on to kairos.

Kairos Day #2

we got woken up by having pillows thrown in our faces, real cool. so then we jhad breakfast and such. we then heard mrs. akstens talk about the person of christ and i was really bored with that one. she made it sound like a class to me. it didnt strike me but nayway she tried and so did i, tried stayiong awake that is. we probabaly did some small group things after that and inbetween but i wont really talk about that cuz that is confidential. after that we heard joe lull talk about ideals and values amd it really made me think. like he had to go throughthe drinking thing his junior year and like i havent had that yet. like i hope i never have to go through what he did but college is gonna be tough. so then there was probabaly a small group thing and then we heard lisa talk. wow that girl is awesome. she had talked about knowing yourself. and iot was real cool aon how she related everythi9ng to what she went throught with padua and her friends and her twin sister. it was really inspiring. tehn we had mass and mr. eyerman talked about the prodigal son at the homily. it was really boring but he more i thought about it i realized that my life is just hat story. like my bro went off to college yet he comes back and has his own room and i still dont. and i wine alot so i felt like the older brother who came back and complaied about hrowing him a party. it was weird but true. so then if i remember correctly we heard mr. stec talk. we all thought it was gonna be the same talk about his life and growing up but it wasnt. he talked about how scared he is with things goin on in his life and how with such a strong faith he has he can still question his faith in God. it was an awesome speech. so yeah then we got aour letters and it was such a relief to be able to sit down and listen to the people that are really clopse to oyu. and wow those letters were awesome. i never realized how many poeple actaully carea about me cuz ther was like 50 etters or something. its crazy. but the one that really got to me was projects pats. the whole second paragraph was about how he was questioning everything about dave while he was there. and that was one of the main resaons why i was there. like there a whole page talking about all the things that went through his head during his K9 and i realized i wasnt in this alone. it was awesome to hear from people like rachael, katie stiber, janet, allsion, dana, my brother, and jaqui bertain. i realized that like so many poeple think about me and its an awesome feeling. wow i almost cried except for the fact that everytime i came anywhere close ther was something funny said in the letter and i just laughed os hard i couldnt cry. oh well.

alright day 2 done. cya tomorrow

Current Mood: peaceful
Sunday, April 6th, 2003
6:31 pm
wow oh wow
i have so much to say but if i put it all in one journal everyone isnt gonna want o read it cuz it would be so long. alright anway kairos was awesome.

ill do one a day and ill satrt of with thursday.
alright we arrived at JRH at like 3:30 and got our bedrooms. i had this giant Jesus on the front of my door, it was so cool. anway i think the first thing we did was go back to the meeting room and listen to Mr. Schwark for a little. but we did some small group stuff but we finally got started with the first witness, Joe Gardner (i hope i spelled his name right, oh well). like his speech was on why are we here? and like everyone was asking themselves this question but like i really payed attention to this because like i truly had no idea why i was there. like at the time i thjought i was ther because of dave. but like i realizzed that i truly didnt know. but like jope became like my new best riend. over a course of a week before kairos we got real close, and kairos juts seemed to help so much more. but i listened to his and it was like wow he had a hard time finding himself and i have the same problem. like my realtionship with God sucks and his witness really helped. joe is a great guy anhe really showed it over the weekend (i know your probably reading this too). anyway yeah so that was awesome. and then Mr. harley talked about creation and nature. it was good and all but here is really only one part thta stuck out in my head and when he talked about the trees. like his anology was about how the trees branches grow up and they are like praising God. it was like the best anology. like we are like that too we pint to heaven and praise God just liek the trees. it was great. and then was mr. boris' and i thought it was really boring but the point he watned to get across was just htat we have our bad and good times but that for every bad thing there is always a good. and then was like mass and small group stuff, and mass was juts awesome. i really got a lot of those samll masses but they helped big time. alright hat was the first day so tomorrow will be all about friday. later guys.

oh and the current mood they didnt have like a lot of tsuff so i chose high cuz im on the kairos high.

Current Mood: high
Tuesday, March 18th, 2003
10:41 pm
wow embarrasing but awesome
well i had the day start off good and it continued throughtout the whole day. like i gave rachael her present and she was like so shocked. i got her resee's penut butter cups and a picture frame with our picture in it. it also said "RACHAEL AND JOSH" around the edge and it was like decorated a little. thanx to janet for the idea from the one she gave me. and if rachael reads this, i made yours with the utmost love. hehe. so like she took it to her english class and everyone saw it includiong Mrs. Brickman who asked rachael if we were goin out or something. that was kinda of a surprise. i mean i cant do anything nice around here can i. it was funny though lol. so yeah i got all these girls like "awww that was so cute.. blah blah blah" but hey im just that kind of guy. so yeah i heard about that the whole day and then we had our bball banquet tonight and wow. i kinda knew mrs. seskes was gonna say something but she didn't. the cheerleaders brought it up. they got me a present and stuff for being their #1 fan so it was cool. carli said like thank you and all this stuff and i went up to get the present and i wanted to hug her but hey who wouldn't. haha i didnt get too but oh well. so yeah i got a lot of crap from the team and coaches but it was funny. i got a lot of hugs and pictures so hey i can take the abuse if im getting all the attention from the cheerleaders. yeah for me. haha. anyway yeah so the day was sweet. alright gotta get gone. cya leter hopefully.

Current Mood: energetic
Monday, March 17th, 2003
9:32 pm
i dont even know
alright i really have so much to type but so little time so this isnt even gonna have like half the information. alright fri was andrews concert and that was sweet. i finally got o meet this steve kid and i actually have a good reason to hate him now. he's a complete jerk. his freind was cool but steve was a dick. alright sat. i played football at dana's house and wow that was awesome. we had so much mud all over us it was sweet. tackle football and me, showtime, green and his friend gary beat all the football players dana, jeff, milter and ugly appathy. haha. and then me and project and dana had a nerf war. also very fun. alright and then sun we went to pldua for the intermurals thing and then to allsion's to play capture the flag and then we watched the ring. it was a good movie but i was doing to much thinking during the movie. aboiut the movie and about other things like janet which we already talked about. so its all good now. but yeah and monday was real boring i sat at home all day. so yeah all summed up that was my weekend. fun and busy. well gotta go. later

Current Mood: contemplative
Tuesday, March 11th, 2003
10:16 pm
wow this sux
alright everything is going good. track is fun yet i'm really sore. wierd considering bball just ended.. oh thats right we were never in shape for bball. alright so anyway i was talking to rachael (who lately i have been having the most awesome conversations with) and we had a conversation that i knew everything she said was true but i just didn't want to believe it. i didn't want to accept the truth. i was in complete denial. like we have been talking about marsha and it hit me that i like everything about her (at least what i know) except for the drinking. i want her to be someone she's not i guess. like everything is good except for that. she's nice, fun, and obviously beautiful but the only thing holding me back is trhis drinking. and i have been contemplating this for a long time and it pisses me off. the only thing i want to do right now is to go to adrew's concert on fri. (at the pit) and have a good tie there. and then go to sappys on saturday and see what comes out of it. if i don't like what i see (and i don't think i will like it) then i'm done and i'm leaving. and thats that. oh and another thing school sux. its not aht its hard i feel like i'm just overloaded with work. oh and janet i'm praying for ya. i hope everything gets beter real soon.

Current Mood: discontent
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